When someone tells me they haven’t met their perfect partner yet
I’m sometimes talking to clients, who seem to be an absolutely ideal partner for someone else. Looking at their profile, they are just the sort of client we love to take on – bright, fun, positive and physically quite attractive too. So, why then are they still single and finding it difficult to meet the right person, even when using a professional personal introductions service like ours where we have an extensive data base of like-minded clients and matchmakers on hand to support them with their dating?
Well, sometimes it’s simply because they just haven’t given this enough time yet, either given enough time to dating other people to learn more about themselves and what is really important to them in a new partner, or given enough time to one particular person, so that the seeds of a real relationship have time to grow and flourish. We may have offered 3 or 4 recommendations of other clients for them to meet but so far, the magic hasn’t happened. They could tell us the dates were fine, but there was no thunder bolt, no love at first sight, or it might sometimes be that they have turned down our recommendations, or decided not to meet someone after just a phone call.
One such lady wanting to talk to me about not having met the right partner yet spoke with me. She had just declined to meet a man that seemed such a great match for her, spotting just one detail on which to decide that he wasn’t for her – he went cycling to keep fit and she was no cyclist! Had she noticed all the other things he did do, that she might really enjoy doing with him? Did she realise he wasn’t looking for a cycling partner but for someone to fall in love with?
When we spoke, I asked her about him and she struggled to explain at first why she didn’t at least just speak to this man, but as we talked further, she started to see for herself that she was actually very fearful of feeling hurt, having been so very hurt when in love before. After all, we can all understand that it’s surely a very natural human reaction, to want to avoid something that hurt us the last time that we tried it. Fear of being hurt can be a major obstacle for anyone searching for love, especially for those of us who’ve already lived some of our lives but still have more years ahead. But recognising an obstacle such as fear, is often the first step to getting past it, fortunately that is what happened for this lady. It wasn’t with the lovely cyclist that she found love with, but there was someone else we found for her that she could let herself fall for, just a few months later.
Those of us working here are all experienced in talking to clients about relationships and when some issues can come to light, we might also offer professional relationships coaching through independent coaches that we work with. So, when someone tells me they haven’t met their perfect partner yet I often tell them… Finding lasting love cannot be a simple order and delivery process, but we are all genuine caring people here and want to help all our clients in hopefully find someone truly special. Sometimes love takes time to come along, but we will do all we can to support clients on their journey to finding their new partner and real love, when found, is always worth the wait.